It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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