Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize