thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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