I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
