Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
