if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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