I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
