Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
