I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
