i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She bit a glass in half.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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