I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
