Walk of Shame. In a state park.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
