roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize