Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
