You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
