He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
