Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I need to stop coming to work sober
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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