I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
