Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
