Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
