if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
