butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
