my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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