Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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