But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
