you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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