I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize