Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
