Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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