The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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