god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
