The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
