Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize