does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
