She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize