Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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