do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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