marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize