Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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