I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I licked your asshole in confidence.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize