Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
