Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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