Tell her she can't have a vagina
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
