Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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