She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
