My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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