One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
