my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
