I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize