sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
