I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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