I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
