all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
