i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
