its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
