she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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