every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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