Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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