Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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