I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
