I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
