you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
My vagina just recognized that song.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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