47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Randomize
