look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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