Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
