But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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