i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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