i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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