ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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