2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
In America we eat man semen.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
