found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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