I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
